7

Rio
How can a movie about Brazil not include scenes of its beautiful (topless) beaches?

The Lincoln Lawyer
Matthew McConaughey returns to the form that made him famous: melodramatic overacting.

Insidious
The only thing insidious about this movie is that it cost me $11 to go see it.

Soul Surfer
Everything was going great. Girls. Surfing. The beach. Then it got better. A huge fucking shark bit someone’s arm off. That’s when it went to shit. “Love is bigger than any tidal wave or fear.” “I don’t need easy. I just need possible.” I can’t wait until Soul Surfer 2: the Revenge, when the shark returns to bite her fucking whiny mouth off.

Hop
Not the worst movie Russell Brand made this month. But the worst movie everyone else in it has ever made.

Water for Elephants
Robert Pattinson did not once glamour, bite or complain to another person during this movie. He did, however, fondle 3 elephants.

Madea’s Big Happy Family
I’m not sure if people know this, but Madea is played by a man. And if people do know this, please tell them to stop encouraging him/her.

Arthur
Demi Moore is rolling over in her grave.

Limitless
Entertainmentless.

Source Code
Jake Gillaenthalleffvdjfh searches for a bomb. Then he finds it on his IMDB page: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.



 



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