Crazy, Stupid, Love
Can you guess which one of these three applies? No, not crazy. Nope, not love…

Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Because some of the other planets said some pretty nasty things to it.

The Change-Up
The only change-up that occurred was that Ryan Reynolds made a bad comedy instead of a bad superhero movie.

The Help
If you love thinking you’re going to see a light-hearted comedy, but it turns out to be a film about the torment of black women in racially fucked-up 1960s Mississippi – this movie is for you!

30 Minutes or Less
This movie came in at 83 minutes long. Does that mean I get it for free?

Final Destination 5
Somebody needs to explain the meaning of “Final Destination” to this franchise’s producers.

Glee: The 3D concert movie
Me: the asshole who watched it.

Conan the Barbarian
Without a known violator of women playing the title role, it’s hard to take the “barbarian” part seriously.

Fright Night
Seriously, why can’t vampires enter people’s houses without an invitation? What is it about the front door that stops an insanely stong supernatural being from coming in? Etiquette? If only this concept worked on Colin Farrel with movies.

Spy Kids: All the Time in the World
Not for this movie.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
Don’t tell me what to do.

Our Idiot Brother
Bathroom breaks never seemed so short!


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