In the last few weeks, there have been two notable streaking occurrences. The first occurred at a UCLA-Arizona football game, where the culprit entered the field in referee garb. He blew a call dead and tried taking the football from the lead official before moving on to his routine. The second incident was at the MTV European Music Awards, where a nude suitor approached Hayden Panettiere while she was presenting an award on stage. Unfortunately, both instances weren’t pure. The first guy never got past his undies before being tackled by security. The second turned out to be staged.
But one thing that came out of these events was a lot of thought provocation (too much, maybe). I think this country needs more streaking and less restrictions on it. While I don’t want more football games to be interrupted (because I despise trespassing), I would like to see more streaking in public forums (political rallies, company picnics, marathons). I don’t know a person who doesn’t chuckle or smirk when they see a streaker. Why wouldn’t you? It’s hilarious. Put a naked person in a place where clothes are the norm, and you have your classic fish out of water situation (like Crocodile Dundee or Encino Man). It’s comedy gold.
It seems like ever since the Janet Jackson nip-slip (during a Super-Bowl, that coincidentally had a streaker run through the game), there has been this unrealistic moral standard in the US. Tighter television and radio censorship became mainstream and it never seemed to regress. The FCC turned into Big Brother over night and put a lock down on swearing, sex, nudity, and some violence. But nudity and sex are different things. I can see why we don’t want kids to be overexposed by sex. It can lead to addictions and behaviors that could have as much consequence as being overexposed to violence. But nudity, is all that nakedness that isn’t sexual. It’s usually funny. And I hate crimes against humor.
Thank goodness movies didn’t retreat from the pressure. What would we have done without Jason Segel’s naked plead in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Or Sacha Baron Cohen’s nude chase scene throughout a hotel in Borat? And then again in Bruno? We would have been denied the beauty of the humor that comes from it.
In real-life, it sometimes feels like we follow the same rules as television. We may clown around with friends (mooning, pantsing, etc) or tell dirty jokes, but once you are outside your circle of friends, these antics are met with judgment. I was recently telling a story to someone I met at a party about how during a night of debauchery on the Rhode Island shore, we were doing naked sprints across Ocean Rd. The guy looked at me with such disdain. Why? Because it’s weird for me to be talking about streaking with someone I just met. However, he was comfortable enough to talk about getting in a fight in college. How is that more acceptable? What I did was funny. What he did was just dumb.
So I guess I don’t really have a point except that I would like to see more streaking, and for people to stop being so fake about how “offended” they are when they see it happen. And don’t give me that BS that if a kid sees it, they’ll be mentally scarred. Crap! Kids enjoy it on the same level that adults do in that it’s a naked person in a situation that warrants clothes. Hilarious. There is nothing sexual about it. There are some states that put convicted streakers on sex offender lists. That is outrageous! There is a difference between streaking and indecent exposure. Maybe the line is too fine for some to see, but let me give it a try. If a guy comes up to you with a lustful grin and fondles his junk in front of you: Indecent Exposure. If a person runs by you quickly and it’s just a big fleshy blur…NOT Indecent Exposure.
In conclusion, here are all of the reasons I have for you to start streaking yourself:
- It’s hilarious (see Crocodile Dundee/Encino Man metaphor)
- It’s a tradition that can be traced back to the year 1799.
- It provides exercise.
- You allow your skin to receive fresh air.
- It was once a rite of passage to gain acceptance at Washington and Lee university.
- An excellent dare to give or receive. (I dare you right now)
- For men: can you live without ever knowing how it feels to have your junk flapping in the wind? For women: replace “junk” with “boobs”
- You may give someone who is having an otherwise boring night, something to talk/laugh about.
- You were born into this world naked. You should roam around it that way too. (I think this would be a good naturist motto).
- What if you met the person of your dreams while doing it? Wouldn’t that be a great story?!
Well, I’ve got to go now. Nature is calling. Ahhh-wooooooo.